Why I Love This April

April has to be the best sports month by far. NBA playoffs, EPL and Champions League getting down to the nitty-gritty  (Still testing the waters), NFL draft, Opening Day/ first month of baseball, a champion being crowned in the NCAA, and even the NHL playoffs. So as the greatest month on the sports calendar comes to a close, lets go over some of the best from this past month.

2 Side Notes: First these are in no particular order. Second I don’t know why all three of my current posts have been lists type articles. This wasn’t planned. But I just wanted to let you know that I can write paragraphs that make an overall cohesive article….I just chose not to.

Rajon Rondo, versus Derrick Rose in the first round of the NBA playoffs
The best two young point guards in the league. These two could develop into the second best player rivalry in the entire association. Behind only TNT versus ABC of course…Why, who did you think I was talking about?

Watching Stan Van Gundy Coaching
EVERYONE says he panics. It started with Shaq and we all took it with a grain of salt, but now even players on his current roster are coming out saying SVG is a panicky coach.  But that is not why you should watch the Magic this offseason. You should watch because Stan Van is an exact replica of Ron Jeremy. Well I don’t know about EXACT replica.  (That sound you hear is people google-ing Stan Van Gundy’s Penis)

New York Rangers coach John Tortorella, trying to attack a Washington fan with a stick.
I know, I know, neither Walker nor myself are big hockey guys, but come on!  In what other sport could you find a coach trying to attack a fan? Okay MAYBE Mike Singletary.  “I’m gonna pinch him in the mouff!”

Debating whether Blake Griffin is a black guy or white
Yes I know what you’re thinking. His team was eliminated in MARCH not April. But he was involved in the tournament that ended in April so shut up. Anyway this is imperative. The last white guy to be taken number 1 in the NBA draft was Andrea Bargnani.  Which isn’t exactly working out the way my Raptors wanted. This question can also be asked of Mike Bibby.

Cheering against Manchester United
They are the evil empire of the soccer world. At one point this season they were talking about winning 5 trophies this year. FIVE for fuck sake!! Of course this can’t happen anymore as they’re out of the FA cup, but that still doesn’t mean we can’t cheer against these card-carrying members of MANC.

(MANC is an inside joke I made with my buddies. It is a German gay bar where only Man U players and fans are allowed in. Also for some reason they play 99 Red Balloons all night long…all…night….long…)

Opening Day
There is something magic about the return of baseball. Even at the Roj-ma-hall (AKA Rogers Center), this magical feeling cannot be denied. Then you’re charged $9 for a beer and the magic is killed.

Side Note: ICE….COLD….BEER. We miss you Wayne!

Cheering against the Yankees and Red Sox
This really speaks for itself. But this year it’s gotten easier since the Sox have become everything they once hated, and the Yankee new stadium is now Coors Field North.

The Masters
Only Tiger could not win the Masters, shoot worse then Phil, and still have the word praise him more then any other athlete in sports today.

The Blue Jays are Currently Leading the AL East!
Now this won’t continue all year. I now this. But that doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy it while it lasts. EAT OUR SHIT REST OF THE AL EAST!! Of course we’re the Blue Jays…so it would be strange white coloured shit…does anyone know why that is?….moving on.

Coach KG
Kevin Garnett is out for the playoffs, which you know has to be killing a competitor such as him. But I love when the Camera shows KG on the bench hyperventilating, yelling, but mostly swearing like Scarface after a line of Colombian…. Kids take notes. You’ll learn some new dirty words if you can read his lips

Watching Glen “Big Baby” Davis try and replace KG
He may not be the “Big Ticket,” but he has dubbed himself the “Ticket Stub”….He’s a fat funny looking guy…. so that’s funny right? Then again, I look like Brian Scalabrine minus the facial hair and sweatband….so maybe I shouldn’t talk.

Watching Kobe versus Lebron on their quest to get to the NBA Finals
I’m writing this at 4:10 on April 26, 2009, (the Bulls Celts game is just about to go into double overtime) but this is going to happen, this IS going to happen. Both teams are too deep, and both these superstars are too determined to fall short of the finals. If this doesn’t happen, I’ll shave a Mohawk in my hair before the summer is done. PUT IT ON THE BOARD!

The NASCAR season is in full swing
I’m screwing with you. If you like NASCAR, you’re probably reading this in the public library since you’re doublewide doesn’t get Internet.

Pacquiao Hatton 24/7
From one obscure sport I hate, to one I love.  I love boxing even though it’s a dying sport with no real big name star anymore. Nonetheless, the next big fight is the pound for pound king Manny Pacquiao versus Ricky “hitman” Hatton. This fight will actually take place in May, BUT the Pacquiao Hatton 24/7 TV show is currently on HBO or the Score in Canada. If you haven’t seen any of the 24/7 series, youtube them right now. You won’t be disappointed.

NFL draft
Yesterday was round 1&2 today is 3-7…and I’m still flicking channels to watch round 6, when the NBA goes to commercial. I’m actually interested to see who Mr. Irrelevant (AKA last pick in the draft) is…..God I need a summer job.

NBA commercials
I love those “Amazing Happens Here” commercials. But even better I love the “Patrick Chewing” Snickers commercial. I have to joke that could possibly outdo this commercial. Just watch it.  I have it on permanent repeat on my computer.

There are more that I’m missing, but for the time being this is a pretty good list of reasons I love this April. If you’re a sports fan make sure to enjoy this time before the dog-days of summer.

By Scott


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