May 14th Sports Thoughts

That’s right kids and campers; it’s another one of those “I have a lot of half written articles so lets combine them together” things.

•    Thank Christ I get both NBA games tonight. I hate TSN 2. What a bloody rip-off.

•    Usually I subscribe to Spike Lee’s ABC theory. Anyone but the Celtics. However they need to beat the Magic for so many reasons:

1: They are called the Magic. Magic!! It’s the dumbest nickname in the big 4 sports.  I think they were originally named by a 12 year old girl whose first choice was the Orlando Fluffy Unicorns. Then ownership went with her second choice
2: I can’t stand anyone on the Magic.   I’m not sure why, but they just aren’t engaging to me.  Howard couldn’t even come up with an original nickname. Superman? Really? I believe Shaq shotgunned that one in 1994.
3: If the C’s keep winning I get to keep watching Glen “Big Baby” Davis and Brian Scalabrine. Did I say Big Baby and Scalabrine? I meant “Big Shot” Davis, and my father.
4: In the pantheon of cities Orlando has to be the grundle (google it) of America. You have to question a city built around a theme park…Why this makes me hate their sports team I have no idea. But it does, so lets move on.
5: The only silver lining of a game 7 is I called it. PUT IT ON THE BOARD….YES!

•    I continue to hate Gary Bettman. Why the hell would you schedule two game 7s to start one hour apart? Have a flexible schedule and allow the diehard fans to watch both games.

•    Hideki Matsui hit an 8th inning go-ahead homer tonight against the Jays. When has Matsui ever hit a clutch homer? He has never been able to live up to the hype he had coming in to North American baseball. I remember reading comparisons between him and the Babe. But instead of becoming a legendary slugger, he has become a legendary porn collector.  Do you think that he lends teammates porn from his apparent vast collection?

•    I know I said the NBA Finals would be the LA Kobes vs. the Cleveland Lebrons. And I stand by it. Particularly since I said I would shave a Mohawk in my head if it wasn’t. But Denver has been making me increasingly nervous. Assuming the Lakeshow get through the McGrady-Yao-Mutombo-less Rockets, they are going to have a tough time with the Nuggets. This isn’t news, but really just look at the matchups. I can hear the buzz of the clippers now.

•    This is sort of a side note but at the same time relevant.  Hasn’t Melo been a disappointment since being drafted from that great Syracuse team?  I wonder how big his porn collection is?

•    As regular readers know, I’m a fan of the 24/7 show on HBO. However I’m also a new fan of Hark Knocks. It’s the same thing only football not boxing. Next year they will be infiltrating the Bengals training camp for an all access look. Now THAT will be a show. We finally get to see Chad Ocho-Cinco in his natural habitat….well unless he decides to hold out requesting a trade….which he will…which means….we’ll just be watching the Bengals…which is…hideous.

By Scott

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