Another eventful sports day for myself culminating in this very article….Holy crap I need a life….Anyway with no NBA today, the Jays game already over, the NFL network showing reruns, and TFC down 2 – 0 at the time of this article, my sports watching day had to get a little bit random.
I wake up knowing its another day for more obscure sports! thats right kids and campers it’s the Preakness Stakes, the second leg of the Triple Crown! Let me hear it for the jockeys!! Whot Whot!!
But before the little straw-weight men take their positions, how about an appetizer of soccer.
After turning on the TV, I see that Manchester United and Arsenal are tied at zeros with not much time remaining. The Red Bastards Devils need only one point to take the Premier League for the third straight year. Of course the game ends scoreless and Man U get their trophy. This SUCKS. Not only because I’m a Liverpool fan, but because I know my boy Roids (yes that’s a nickname people) will have one of those “I’m super jacked, but don’t really want to rub it in your face, so instead I’ll just sit here with a dumb grin and make you feel small” faces. Roidsy is the nicest guy on the planet and is without a mean bone in his body, but damn I hate loosing. You think I would be used to it by now being a Raptors fan….and a Jays fan…and a Argos fan….and a Leafs fan….and a Ricky Hatton fan….the list could go on. Anyway Roids I concede. You guys won fair and square. But until then, Enjoy the after-party at MANC, Try not the hit the walls in any straight tunnels on the way there, and keep blaring 99 Lufballoons!
with the pre-Preakness show starting a half hour ago, and the race still an hour away, I decide this is the moment for the every important pre-game snack. But again the eternal question is what exactly to eat? Hooters sounds good. Lenny’s (great little italian place owned by an Asian guy [only in Toronto]) is always a popular option. What about some simple pretzels? But then it hits me. Burrito Boyz!! If you live in the city of Toronto and have never been to Burrito Boyz, google the closest address, get in your car, and stop waiting your time with whatever crap your stuffing your buritto-hole with. Walker was the one who first showed me god’s burrito joint so i give full credit to him. Anyway I go and get my four mixed burritos. And no they weren’t all for me.
Side Note: Walker has a great story involving Vernon Wells a dinger and one mixed burrito (insert hand motions here). But that is his story to tell.
I’ve actually become one of those people who watch the pre-race shows. It’s actually not too shabby, but still a little bit too much for me.
None the less, the Horses are making their way to the starting gate.
AND THEIR OFF!!
Rachel Alexandra the favorite is in the lead from early on until the finish. She is the first Filly to win the Preakness since the Twenties. Mind the Bird, the Derby winner came in a close second.
On a more interesting note, I’m trying to figure out who Calvin Borel (the winning jockey) reminds me of. ….
GOLLUM!! The dude is a spitting image of that messed up gremlin thing from the Lord of the Rings movies.
You know those weird chicks that fall in love with convicts while they’re in prison? Calvin Borel is going to be swimming in ladies who are itching to have just one night with a real life Gollum. “Hey ladies, how would you like to see my precious?”
With Rachel Alexandra cooling down in the winner circle, and Borel Gollum enjoying all the freaky ladies he could ever ask for, I finally change the channel. I have two sports options; the Mets vs Giants game, or the Memorial Cup featuring someone called the Drummonville Voltigeurs. Instead of googleing who ever the hell that is I choose the baseball instead.
This run in with some random team from a Podunk town brings me a thought. Hamilton and Mr. Blackberry himself Jim Balsillie are gunning to get and NHL team. But this isn’t enough. Toronto should be to hockey what NYC was to baseball in the 40s and 50s. The Big Apple had the Brooklyn Dodgers, New York Giants, AND the Evil Empire all sharing one city. Three teams!!
The NHL NEEDS to implement this system in Toronto to survive. I say three teams in Toronto because even if Hamilton gets a team, it’s pretty much just a suburb of Hog Town anyway. Lets have Toronto, Toronto 2.0, and Hamilton in the NHL. Hell why stop there. What about Sudbury, the Sault, or Kingston gets a team too? Hell lets have 12 Ontario teams. There we go I just fixed the NHL. Gary Betman you have to be the worst commissioner in the history of sports.
Well with no real sports left on the schedule tongith, and Friday Night Fights keeping me up late last night, i decide to hit the hay early. Tomorrow TWO game 7s! Until then.