I’M BACK! and 9 Random Sports Thoughts

I’M BACK!! That’s right kids and campers I’m back from my long work/gym/baby induced hiatus (and no not my baby). Because I haven’t written in weeks it is again time for some random thoughts.

Edit: This post was too good for me not to comment on, instead of reposting it I am just going to add my comments in Italics, Lucas.

Side Note: This is kind of like my Twitter… even though I take the Michael Wilbon approach to the newest online social pariah. “Twittering is for birds.” Good on ya Mr. Wilbon. Anyway let’s begin.

You’re right, just like you were right about Facebook, messenger, Skype, I bet if you were around you’d be against the Telephone as well, and hell you’d probably be against going from a horse and buggie to a Model T.

1)    Remember the 2006 Rose Bowl? That was probably the best football game of all time. But of the three big names playing that day (Bush, Leinart, and Young) none of them have amounted to anything in the pros. Although Reggie is dating Kim Kardashian….who is apparently a celebrity….for doing…something…

Yes I remember this game, I would have won $140 on Pro-line had the Texas kicker made one of two field goals, or that extra point he missed.

2)    Having checked some rather reliable sources (available to everyone online so you know they’re good), I’ve seen that the NHL finals ratings are up. But if you do the math, the highest rated NHL playoff game only got 10% of what Jon & Kate Plus 8 got.

Side Note: where the hell did these two people and their busload (literally) of kids come from?  Can anyone remember a celebrity who went from “D” list to tabloid cover story so damn fast?

Side Note 2.0: To get on TLC you need to be some sort of physical freak. Conjoined twins? 1000 lbs? 1 foot tall? Come one on down to TLC!

I’ve been saying this for years, TLC has turned into the Freak channel. All the morbidly obese people, litters of children, real life Benjamin Buttons, people who can’t dress, and the odd wedding. How the hell am I supposed to learn.

3)    I love….LOVE…LOOOOVVVVEEE the Nike MVP (Most Valuable Puppets) ads. But now that the Cleveland Lebrons are out of the playoffs, the commercials will keep going right? I need this in my life. It taps into some weird long lost love of Muppets. Herdy ferdy go du derdy. (That was Swedish Chef for Go Lakers!)

4)    I have to admit something…. I cannot grow anything close to a beard. It’s sad, but I deal with it, and move on……are you listening Sidney Crosby?

I however can.

I saw the MTV Movie Awards the other day and those two random kids in that bloody Twilight movie showed up. Have you ever seen two people more depressed to be famous? Seriously youtube that shit, and get a load of these “I’m so sad to be rich” bastards! (o yeah that’s an angry exclamation point. Don’t screw wit me MTV)

Maybe they should spend sometime in the slums of India doing research for the Sequal to Slumdog Millionare, Wheel of Misfortune.

6)    I hate everything from Florida…..okay NOT orange juice….that shit is delicious and nutritious….but besides OJ I hate everything from the sunshine state. The fact that in my lifetime the Lightening and Buccaneers have won titles, and the Rays, Magic, and Panthers have a title appearance, literally kills me inside. BUT the silver lining of the Orlando Magic being in the NBA finals is we get to keep seeing Ron Jeremy’s twin (aka Stan Van Gundy) for a little longer. I wonder who sweats more in a typical day at work?…….nasty…..

I’m glad you agree that Steve Van Grundy looks a LOT like Ron Jeremey. Here is a debate about the issue at hand. Also I like Orange Juice, but I dislike OJ Simpson, so even saying you like OJ is a close call.

7)    My newest Lebron theory: If he wins a title next year, he will leave Cleveland. If he falls short yet again, he will stay. James doesn’t want to become the face of the Cleveland sports depression.

Not bad, but the money NY is willing to offer him, plus the endorsement oppourtunities, plus the life oppourtunities are too much to turn down. Like Ichiro Suzuki said “I’d rather punch myself in the face than go to Clevland”.

8)    Regular readers will know that not too long ago I gave my theory to fix hockey. So what will be my next undertaking?……. Making Track and Field relevant!  Here is my idea. Do it all naked and sell add space on the athletes naughty bits. Brilliant I know! Seriously Mastercard has built in add space on every female participant…. Think about it….

My theory to fix hockey’s popularity, get rid of their commissioner who shall not be named. Also, MasterCard could advertise on very “courageous” male athletes. My idea, take a page out of NASCAR books and increase the risk for crashes. Instead of 8 100m racers, have 16, going in opposite directions.

9)    If the Nuggets had made it to the NBA finals against the magic, the NBA could have come out with a cereal called Magic Nuggets! They’re magically mediocre!

Sounds delicious. It would also be like that World Series that almost happened a couple of years ago with the Rockies and Red Sox, Ibelive it was almost the Rockies and Indians. Ratings would drop to as low as NHL Play-Offs if it was a Nugs and Magic final. I guess Colordo isn’t into sports.

by: Scott and now Lucas.

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