RST!!!!!!

It’s been too long. So you know what that means……RANDOM SPORTS THOUGHTS!!!!

1)    Who do you think gets more headlines south of the boarder: The Leafs or Ryan Leaf?
2)    Which is a bigger letdown for Canada: The Jays’ early collapse, or Mike Weir’s eventual collapse at the U.S. Open?
3)    Did anyone else see the photo shoot with Tennis star Maria Sharapova making over Detroit Lions QB Matthew Stafford? Click here to listen to the soundtrack of that photo shoot.
4)    This may be sacrilegious, but Vernon Wells reminds me of Joe Carter.
5)    Josh McDaniels announced Kyle Orton as the Broncos’ starter.  Then said “no decisions are made in June.” …..So why the hell are you wasting my time Josh?…Why are you wasting my time.
6)    Enough with Kobe people. He hasn’t changed; we just want the good guy to win. No one wants to say “he’s the same old Kobe,” so now he’s a “new leader?” This is more time wasting people.
7)    That being said Phil Jackson is the best BAKETBALL coach ever. But basketball coaches rely on their stars more then any other sport and he’s had the best. Remember when Doc Rivers was a laughing stock? Then came his meal tickets known as KG and Ray Allen.
8)    Sammy Sosa was on Steroids!?!?! That isn’t surprising. What is surprising is that anyone would be surprised….Did you get that?
9)     Michael Phelps wrote a kids book called “How to Train with a T. Rex and Win 8 Gold Medals.” That’s fuckin’ retarded even for a Michael Phelps kids book.
10)    Artie Lange is my new hero. Even though he’s the human equivalent to a KFC chicken-wing dipped in heroine, he made Joe Buck look completely idiotic.  And anyone who shuts up Joe Buck is a hero in my book.

By Scott

Gameday Diary NBA Finals Game 5

Lakers championship banners and retired numbers hanging at the Staples Center

Just a note to everyone reading because I’m in Nova Scotia my times are an hour ahead of eastern standard time.

8:45pm

With four of us hanging out in Chansey’s room (I’m living in a residence over the summer) we talk about watching something and then it hits me the finals are on. Chansey and I are both into the NBA finals, but the others aren’t into it as much. Regardless we decide that we’re going watch the game but first we need some food. We decide to order a family deal, one large pizza, one large garlic fingers, and a 2L Pepsi. We also get four donair dipping sauces. For those of you who don’t know what a donair is, thank goodness for wikipedia.

9:30pm

We finally get our food and head to the lounge. Turn on the TV and the Lakers are up by 10 in the second quarter, looks like this one will be a no brainier of who wins. The only question is how badly the Lakers will beat the Magic. Its looking like once again the Magic forgot to bring any defence.

10:30

Half of us have retired to bed, being not into basketball and it not being a good game. Around halftime I start thinking, even though it isn’t the Superbowl why are there so many bad commercials. It might just be that stupid Coke points Sprite commercial where the guy pours Sprite onto/into everything, an ice cube tray, a bath tub, on a plant every. Just a stupid commercial. If that was the bad, then the good are definitely those Year One commercials starting Jack Black and Michael Cera. They are a good duo with Jack Black’s in your face style comedy and Michael Cera’s awkwardness.

11:30

With the Lakers up by 15 I’m the last one in the lounge ridding it out to the end. This game hasn’t even been close. I kills some time over the commercials by looking over pictures of the Lakers game I went to in LA. Thats where the title picture came from. I’m not a big basketball fan, but this has seriously been one of the most lopsideded finals, I don’t know how the the Laker’s haven’t swept any other teams.

11:40

Well it is official, the Lakers finally win, and championship number four for Kobe, tying Shaq. It’s nice to see Shaq’s tweets supporting his former teammate, but its too bad that Shaq seems to have forgotten his roots with the Magic who drafted him. Congratulations to Phil Jackson for becoming the NBA head coach with the most championships, 10. The only question now is if he will return next year.

-Lucas

Good Idea Bad Idea (Featuring Phil and Stan)

Did you ever watch Animaniacs?  You know Yakko, Wakko, and Dot? If not, it was a brilliant show that appealed to both kids and and their parents.  In fact take a break right now, type “Animaniacs” into youtube and enjoy some brilliant cartoon madness. Anyway the show used to have a segment called “Good Idea, Bad Idea,” and would (perhaps unsurprisingly) have a good idea, followed by a bad one. I know, who would have thought!  For example one segment said “good idea: tossing a penny into a fountain. Bad Idea: tossing your cousin Penny into a fountain.”

Now you might be asking yourself, what the hell is this guy’s point?  Well smart-ass, other then spreading the word about a great cartoon, I though this applied well to Stan Van Gundy, and Phil Jackson. Lets explore.

Good Idea: Being known as basketball’s best modern coach
Bad Idea: Being known for looking like the worlds best male pornstar

Good Idea: Chasing a record 9 championship rings
Bad Idea: Chasing the doughnut you dropped just before tipoff

Good Idea: Coaching in the City of Angles
Bad Idea: Coaching in fucking ORLANDO

Good Idea: Being the tallest and coolest guy in the room
Bad Idea: Being the shortest and most discussing Van Gundy Brother (that’s counting Ron Jeremy too)

Good Idea: Being calm, cool, and collected, no matter the situation
Bad Idea: Sweating more then your players

Good Idea: Having the nickname “Zen Master”
Bad Idea: Having the nickname “Master of Panic”

Good Idea: Having your superstar being the most focused athlete since MJ
Bad Idea: Having your superstar shoot a new commercial where he impersonates Rick James

Good Idea: Being affiliated with the Knicks, Bulls, and Lakers. The biggest teams in the NBA
Bad Idea: Being affiliated with the fucking ORLANDO MAGIC

Good Idea: Coaching, winning championships, leaving and having those teams fall apart
Bad Idea: Coaching, leaving half way through a season, and having your old team win a championship

Good Idea: Having Phil’s Wikipedia display picture
Bad Idea: Having Stan’s Wikipedia display picture

Good Idea: Growing a playoff beard and having everyone love it
Bad Idea: Growing a moustache that makes you look like a puggy Magnum P.I. reject

Good Idea: Wearing a different designer suit for every game
Bad Idea: Mastering the Turtleneck look

Good Idea: Your team’s most famous fan is Jack Nicholson. The only guy cooler then Phil
Bad Idea: Your team’s most famous fan is Tiger Woods…But he’s actually a Lakers fan

Good Idea: Being Phil
Bad Idea: …..ORLANDO

In the end, it’s good to be Phil.

By: Scott