I’m a Sports Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here

Did anyone see the show I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here? Now usually I’m not one for crappy reality TV, but it’s the summer so quit breaking balls and just listen.  The most competitive person on the show was John Salley. You know Salley; 4 time NBA champion, and the token black guy on Best Damn Sports Show Period. Anyway this got me thinking, what if there were only sports stars stuck in the rain forest of Costa Rica? Lets explore.

Michael Jordan:
MJ would be the favorite to win, after all, the guy went 6 for 6 in NBA championships, a reality show should be easy. He would do every single challenge with his tongue sticking out too.  However in the end, he would quit the show twice, and eventually come back on another less popular show, which further ruins his legacy.

O.J. Simpson
Who wouldn’t want to watch “The Juice” on this show. However he would be first voted off after America saw his one luxury item he brought from home was a poorly fitting black glove

Adam “Pacman” Jones
He’s gonna make it rain!! …..Only on this show the strip club is the jungle ………and the “rain” isn’t money……… but actual fucking rain.

John McEnroe
He’d be the guy who freaks out first. “What do you mean we’re out of rice!! I’m out there busting my ass…” His luxury item? Well it would be a picture of him with his beautiful 80’s hair. What do you call that anyway?

Anna Kournikova, Maria Sharapova, Danica Patrick, Jennie Finch, Amanda Beard, and Stacy Keibler.
Eye Candy. I’m not a shovinist, but who wouldn’t want to see any of these girls in some tight-fitting wet halter tops fighting it out in a food challenge?

John Madden
He would be the guy who eats all the food, and pisses everyone off because he’s always pointing out the obvious. “We’re starving because we’re not eating enough fried chicken.” But in the end he would stay on the island and loose at least 100lbs.

Bill Simmons
Yes I know he isn’t an athlete, but do you trust anyone else to document this amazing show? No, of course not. For that we need the best. Enter SimBo.

Charles Barkley
They got Chaz Barkley only because Shaq was too busy Twittering to come on the show. Barkley would bring his golf clubs as his luxury item, and would be working on his swing every day……and it would still look like an awkward grade 6 slowdance. Chaz would also place bets with Michael Jordan on every immunity challenge, eventually leading to Chaz loosing $ 230,000.

Coach Mike Singletary
Mike would fill the roll of the token old guy, who gives everything his best, but in the end just can’t pull it out. Plus who wouldn’t want more soundbites like this.

There you have it. One island, six women, eight guys, thirty cameras, and millions entertained. But who would win? Stay tuned everyone!

By Scott

RST!!!!!!

It’s been too long. So you know what that means……RANDOM SPORTS THOUGHTS!!!!

1)    Who do you think gets more headlines south of the boarder: The Leafs or Ryan Leaf?
2)    Which is a bigger letdown for Canada: The Jays’ early collapse, or Mike Weir’s eventual collapse at the U.S. Open?
3)    Did anyone else see the photo shoot with Tennis star Maria Sharapova making over Detroit Lions QB Matthew Stafford? Click here to listen to the soundtrack of that photo shoot.
4)    This may be sacrilegious, but Vernon Wells reminds me of Joe Carter.
5)    Josh McDaniels announced Kyle Orton as the Broncos’ starter.  Then said “no decisions are made in June.” …..So why the hell are you wasting my time Josh?…Why are you wasting my time.
6)    Enough with Kobe people. He hasn’t changed; we just want the good guy to win. No one wants to say “he’s the same old Kobe,” so now he’s a “new leader?” This is more time wasting people.
7)    That being said Phil Jackson is the best BAKETBALL coach ever. But basketball coaches rely on their stars more then any other sport and he’s had the best. Remember when Doc Rivers was a laughing stock? Then came his meal tickets known as KG and Ray Allen.
8)    Sammy Sosa was on Steroids!?!?! That isn’t surprising. What is surprising is that anyone would be surprised….Did you get that?
9)     Michael Phelps wrote a kids book called “How to Train with a T. Rex and Win 8 Gold Medals.” That’s fuckin’ retarded even for a Michael Phelps kids book.
10)    Artie Lange is my new hero. Even though he’s the human equivalent to a KFC chicken-wing dipped in heroine, he made Joe Buck look completely idiotic.  And anyone who shuts up Joe Buck is a hero in my book.

By Scott